Beware the goob!

Beware the goob!
On Saint Patrick’s Day I was cleaning up the dirty lunch dishes. My kids were on their mats reading books or doing some basic milling around the room going to the bathroom and getting drinks. I bent down to pick up a half eaten bowl of apple sauce and accidentally stuck my finger in it. I switched the bowl to my left hand and cupped the saucy finger in my right palm. I turned to get a paper towel when Sally appeared beside me. “Teacher, what is that”? she asked looking at my cupped hand. “Just a goober” I replied. She cocked her head to the side and leaned in closer to my hand to see if she could see what was inside. “Did you catch a leprechaun”? she said with great enthusiasm. As she spoke Steve stepped up next to her, “A leprechaun? Teacher! You have a leprechaun? Let me see it”. He reached up to pull open my hand. “No”, I said pulling my hand from his reach, “it’s not a leprechaun it’s just a little goober”. Steve pulled a nasty face, “A goob? What in the heck is a goob? Is it like a leprechaun”? He stared up at me with wide eyes. “Teacher’s caught a goob”! Sally shouted to the whole class. All around the room heads started popping up and turning towards me. “Guys! I didn’t catch a goob. I said it was a goober”. I tried explaining, “My finger got in the applesauce when I was cleaning up. That’s all. No leprechaun. No goob”. Several heads turned away from me losing interest in the entire ordeal but not Sally and Steve. . . They were off to tell their friends! I watched them for a few seconds and then turned to wipe my finger off. I gave my hand a quick roll in the paper towel and tossed it. No sooner had I stepped away from the trash can than Sally and Steve returned to my side with Jerry. “Teacher! We told Jerry you caught a goob. Show him”! Steve exclaimed. As he spoke he noticed my hand was no longer cupped, it was just sitting there empty. “Um teacher? Where’s the goob”? he asked with concern. I looked at him and began to explain again about the goob, “Buddy there was no goob. I just got some stuff on my finger and I wiped it off on a paper towel and threw it in the trash”. Steve gazed at me for a moment and then whipped himself over to the trash can, “It’s in here? You threw the goob away in here? I don’t see it. Where is it? Teacher, I don’t see the goob”. I could tell that explaining things again was not going to help, in his mind there was a little creature loose in our classroom and I was the one who’d let it escape! I thought for a quick second and then answered him, “Steve, the goob is not in the garbage can. I- I- uh, I ate it”! The phrase escaped my mouth before I could stop it. Steve’s expression went from surprise to doubt to. . . What was this? Disgust! His tongue draped out of his mouth and his eyes closed. “You a-a-ate the goob”? he said slowly. I watched as he pulled his hands around his middle and sucked in some air. “Eww, that is so gross”, he gulped and then he began to gag. A quick small gag at first and then they became deeper and closer together. “He’s gonna puke” Sally commented as she stepped backwards away from us both. “Steve, honey, I didn’t eat the goob. It was just applesauce! It wasn’t gross, I swear”! I back pedaled as fast as I could to stop the dry heaving. Steve stared at me for a minute. He stopped gagging. He started smiling. “Applesauce”! he cried. “Goobs are applesauce! Teacher you are so weird”! He skipped away happily knowing all was right with the world. I sighed with relief and returned to clearing the table, I was almost done when Gary approached me, “Um teacher? What’s a goob”? Here we go again!